I am with friends one Friday happy hour sharing how uninteresting we feel in our 40s– staying in and watching Scandal rather than going to Rich’s and drinking tequila until clothes fall off. “I tried to reduce the drama in my life,” I tell them. “And now,” I continue, “I wonder if I’m boring.” We all laugh. But the truth is, it wasn’t that long ago that I would have done anything for … [Read more...]
Why are we drawn to dating drama?
Drama. I would swear that I hated dating drama, that I wasn’t down with it, that I didn’t want it. For years the line from that Mary J. Blige song was my jam, “No more drama in my life.” And yet, somehow, despite my words, I seemed to always find myself smack dab in the middle of some dramatic, painful dating situation with some girl. Once it was avoiding a girl who I slept with one … [Read more...]
Dating as a Comeback Story
When written in Chinese, the word “crisis” is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. – John F. Kennedy Several years ago, after a series of unfortunate events, I found myself laid out sick on the couch. Weak, pale, and wearing my favorite feel sorry for myself sweatpants, I was nauseous, unable to eat and anemic. Within a very short period of time, … [Read more...]
Breakup Makeover
Article originally published in Miracle Makeover in the Lavender Lens July 2010. For the past hour, I have been sitting on my wood living room floor, legs splayed about to make room for the bookcase pieces I’m attempting to combine. I stare numbly at the half-put together jumble of particleboard and Swedish instructions in front of me, realizing that half the shelves are facing forward, and … [Read more...]
5 lessons the worst relationship I ever had taught me about red flags
It happened one leisurely Sunday. My girlfriend at the time and I had spent the day at the spa, a peace offering for an ongoing argument. We were joking around and then, just like that. She punched me in the arm. In that moment, it was as if all the drama and struggle of our relationship and every relationship over the past 15 years of dating culminated into the throbbing in my arm. Perhaps it was … [Read more...]